Are you first a Leader or a Dad?
My story of a leader-turned dad who went through a gut-wrenching ordeal to rethink what it means to lead in a future workplace.
Welcome to Future of Work, Future of You. I bring insightful content on the accelerating trends for a next generation workplace. It is great to have you here. Today’s issue is very close to my heart & defines a pivotal moment in my personal & professional journey. I hope all you leaders & dads out there will connect & relive your own memories & how it transformed you forever. Enjoy reading!
Launch of #DadLeader Newsletter:
I am so excited to launch DadLeader series as a monthly issue where we will feature incredible leaders who have had impactful experiences from becoming a dad. More importantly, #DadLeader newsletter will move beyond just fatherhood and throw light on how today’s leaders can develop a more balanced approach to running teams at workplaces.
Love at First Sight
Exactly 15 months ago, the leader in me met the dad. And they fell in love!
The dad was a godsend for the leader who needed purpose, escape & solace from the daily grind.
The new dad in town relished & thrived in every bit of the attention the leader gave him. It was a match made in heaven.
And then.
It all came crashing down.
The leader became ambitious, practical & indifferent.
The dad became needy, obsessed & frivolous.
Both drifted apart but missed each other a lot.
But where & how did this all start ?
Parental Instincts
On Feb 18, 2021, my wife noticed something abnormal within. She was due in 4 weeks & we had just wrapped up a perfectly normal doctor visit a few days back. Surely, this was nerves more than anything else or so I thought.
The highly efficient & optimized leader I was, I had a morning meeting which I pushed by a couple of hours to accommodate this unforeseen hospital visit. Little did I know what was in store for the coming days.
As I dropped off my wife at the hospital entrance & parked my car, I got a call from my wife with a worried tone. She said - “It doesn’t look good”. My blood pressure is 160/120 & rising. She was hurried into labor & delivery. My heart sank like it never did in the past.
A troop of doctors kept pouring in to determine what was wrong. They concluded that my wife developed an acute condition that caused poisonous proteins to rise in her body & both mommy & baby were getting worse each passing hour. Our baby had stopped moving & multiple ultrasounds or nudges failed to wake him up. As we watched in horror what was unfolding, it all seemed like a nightmare. Before we realized it, my wife was moved to OT.
DadLeader Moment
On Feb 19 at 6:47AM, a dad was born along with our little boy. Our fighter baby weighed 1.6kg & was whisked to Neo-Natal Care Unit (NICU) wrapped up in all sorts of tubes. He stayed there for 12 excruciating days where every minute felt like an eternity. The leader in me was shocked, confused & irritated with the state of affairs but the newborn dad rose to the occasion displaying empathy, patience & optimism. The dad traced every ounce of milk, every heavy breath, every blip on ECG, every gram of body weight with the eye of a tiger. While the leader sat in the corner, the dad was decisive & effective.
Over the past decade, I have taken several critical decisions for my business & people that have impacted the world around me in so many ways. I have hired folks that provided livelihood & joy to tens of families. In other instances, I had to do layoffs that crushed families & their dreams & aspirations for a brief period.
Have I always paused to weigh the direct & indirect consequences of my actions?
Not really the way I ought to.
As humans, we are wired to avoid situations that are uncomfortable. We always take the route that involves less friction & pain. We think our decisions will just take care of themselves but they never do.
Even when the outcome of our decision is inevitable, we can always mitigate the impact.
That day, sitting inside NICU looking at my child inside an incubator, I realized the most plausible & naked impact of a decision - life of a defense-less baby. My decision to go ahead with the delivery, to keep him out few minutes every hour so we could hold him or keep him inside so he doesn’t lose weight to atmosphere came with immense trade-offs. Every decision came with a consequence & impact.
Tip for future of work
During these tough times, I discovered a unique side to my personality that was hidden till then. I also realized that intellect & empathy aren’t always good friends with each other. It is damn hard to become a complete leader and maintain a balance of intellect & empathy in managing tough situations. And thus came the concept of DadLeader, an alias for a leader who embraces the most difficult circumstances & yet succeeds at managing both people & problems. DadLeader is not about swapping role-plays but building a mindset for future leaders. Fundamentally, it is about rebalancing intellectual & emotional capacity to create organizations & teams the right way.
What does a DadLeader look like?
Beginner’s mind full of possibilities
Instinctive & instantaneous
Trustworthy & transparent
Empathetic & connected
Purpose & community-driven
I am still a work in progress when it comes to becoming a DadLeader, but my sincere wish is to see a few more great leaders become DadLeaders so we leave workspaces & organizations way more connected & empathetic. Moreover, employees within these workplaces will realize not just their performance but also their purpose & aspirations.
Feel inspired to share your #DadLeader story? Just like mine, your story may inspire others to survive & thrive in tough times. Drop in a comment below & let me know what turned you from just a leader into a #DadLeader.
If you have a leader, manager, co-worker or a friend who you think will benefit from this article, pls share this with them. As leaders, dreamers and entrepreneurs, we all need to become future ready to engage & connect with our teams the right way.
Reach me at Tejaswi Gautam and let me know what you think about this issue. Are you ready to become a #DadLeader for the future of work? See you next week!