Work is a joke
How job descriptions, job titles, value seekers & bozos are ruining today's workplace
Welcome to Future of Work, Future of You. I bring insightful content on the accelerating trends for a next generation workplace. I have a surprise in store today. I am co-authoring today’s newsletter with Shaun Gold - a top substack author & my good friend. Shaun & I wanted to provide a completely different take on the state of work today. It comes from a hypothetical free agent professional who sits outside the traditional workplace. We believe this will bring unique insights into what is broken with workplaces & how we can fix it. Enjoy reading!
If you aren’t subscribed, you can click the below button and join for free.
The modern world can be described in many ways. Serious, woke, dangerous…or in my case, humorous. And there is nothing more humorous than whatever passes for work these days in our so-called “jobs.” Every step of the job process, from the hiring to the work experience, is nothing more than a joke. It is no wonder why so many people left their jobs and so many more don’t want to work.
Why would they?
Most jobs these days are meaningless, underpaid, and confusing.
Let’s begin at the start of the career ladder, shall we?
You are a recent grad or a free agent, ready to take on the world. You scour Indeed, LinkedIn and AngelList, looking for that opportunity. When you find something that piques your interest and applies to your skillset, it may look like this:
Hiring a marketing rockstar (the first red flag - a true rockstar wouldn't be reading this but I digress) to help our company reach the next level. This is the perfect opportunity for someone looking to join an established company that is growing fast. Your primary responsibilities would include:
Acquiring new users
Lead our SEO strategy using the latest and best practices
Lead our social media strategy on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Pinterest, and Twitter
Create social media content (written, audio, and video)
Own the entire funnel
Optimize conversion rates
Improve new user onboarding
Convert free users to paying
Upgrade customers between plans
Implement retention and save flows
Balance sales & self-serve flows
Optimize pricing
I hate to break it to the job poster, but this isn’t a marketing role for a single person. This is the role of an entire marketing and growth team! But wait, there is more!
You are a perfect fit for this role if:
You have five years or more of marketing and growth experience from a Fortune 100 Company
A degree from a top tier university (MBA preferred)
You ran your own agency
You are a Swiss army knife, capable of wearing multiple hats
Knowledge and expertise with Google, Slack, Notion, Airtable, and Hubspot
You think of yourself as a marketing ninja who lives for data
You are a self-starter with an entrepreneurial mindset
You have a roll up your sleeves attitude
Nothing is beneath you
You are above the 9-5 mindset and are willing to put in the work on nights and weekends to get the job done
Umm…okay. Is this for a job or the next season of Squid Games?
Who is this person? Do they even exist? If they do, why would they want to work for this random company?
Most companies don’t know how to hire, let alone lead people. We don’t have leaders in the workplace, we have bosses. We don’t have co-workers, we have drones. We have bozos, pure and simple.
“These are the bozos. They are graspers and self-promoters, shameless resume padders, people who describe themselves as “product marketing professionals,” “growth hackers,” “creative rockstar interns,” and “public speakers.”- Dan Lyons, Disrupted: My misadventure in the Start-Up Bubble
The bozos are full of courage while the intelligent are full of doubt. Because of that, the bozos get promoted and institute bozo policies that no one but the bozos can enjoy.
Why is this the case?
Because work in the modern world needs to have some meaning. People need to believe that their weekend retreat or Mandatory Monday team bonding matters.
But it doesn’t matter.
It only makes people miserable. Don’t be one of them. Focus on what you have to do and what you can achieve. Don’t let the bozos or their policies hold you back.
Adding value, company culture, and other things we don’t need.
The most frequent question I receive is “how can I add value to you?”
My most common answer? You can’t.
In fact, I am more about subtraction than addition. How can I subtract you from my life is far more valuable to me than whatever value you think you can add.
Here is another thing that needs to be subtracted, company culture in the traditional ways.
Company culture? What are we? Aztecs? Founders and company culture fanatics act as if their culture is going to be examined thousands of years from now by corporate cultural anthropologists and put on a display for society to see. Sorry folks, but just because you offer a no-meeting Wednesday and infinite remote work doesn’t mean the ancient Egypt display is being put on hold.
Do you want a good company culture? Here is a simple mandate that can encompass whatever cultural program you want to be known for:
Work Hard. Be Ethical. Have Integrity. Have Fun.
Done. You can put that on the back of a business card or in the signature of an email and go about your day.
Business used to be about business. If your company is more concerned with how people act, what they do, and what they say, you don’t have a workplace, you have a kindergarten.
Another thing that we can chuck to the curb? Calendly.
It used to be that if people wanted to talk, they would simply call and leave a message. Or send a text or email. Now thanks to scheduling programs like Calendly, it takes ten minutes for what should take ten seconds. I just want to ask a simple question or two. I shouldn’t have to find a fifteen minute slot two weeks from now in between you doing nothing at home and nothing at work.
And no one is that busy. These scheduling programs only showcase how busy one claims to be. But being busy is nothing to be proud of. In fact, it is more important to be focused on the business rather than busyness.
So do that.
Focus on what is the true business of not only your career, but your life. Ignore the ceaseless and meaningless distractions. The quicker you do, the better you will be.
Titles are a joke.
Everyone who is anyone has to have a title. The more impressive sounding, the better. Matter of fact, make sure it is three letters so no one knows what it is you really do. CDO, CPO, CHO, CRO, CCO, CBO. I once had someone tell me that they were the chief relationship officer. I asked if that was an IR (investor relations) position and got an insulting look followed by a resounding no, a great way for someone in charge of relationships to act. My apologies, Sir, if I am not up to the latest lingo on company job titles that are short, but pointless.
What has happened to us?
Have we become so feeble and eager for praise and prestige that we need to have a company create a title and position for us so we can confidently tell people what we do and where we work?
No title? No problem. Add whatever you want. Wordsmith. Marketing Master. Strategic Problem Solver.
I appreciate the last one as I doubt many have problems so vast that they require a strategic problem solver to ameliorate.
Above all, the title that is the biggest joke these days is founder (and as a founder, I can say that and laugh at myself at the same time). Being a founder has taken on an almost religious tone. If you succeed and succeed big, you will be thought of as the next Steve Jobs (after he started wearing shoes and showering I hope). The reality of the situation is that most founders are terrible. They couldn’t hold a position at the lost and found, let alone lead a billion dollar company. You can look at the data and see that most startups fail because of people or lack of product-market fit.
But the truth is that most founders have no idea what they are doing and the few that do are part of the small percentage that are successful. The majority of people who want to call themselves a founder tuned into Shark Tank thirty minutes late, changed the channel before the next commercial break, and think themselves an expert on all things business. Sadly, this isn’t the case.
Don't worry about the job title. Worry about what you are doing, building, and going after. Leave titles for those who need the validation while you work on boring, long term goals that create massive impact. Don’t run after short-term & transactional incentives because they will only do so much for your personal growth. You have something far more important to achieve and far more meaningful than any silly title.
If you enjoyed this issue, subscribe here for free.
If you have a co-worker, founder, product manager or even an entrepreneurial dreamer who needs to see this, please share. You may be helping them more than you realize.
Before you start your work day, think about these questions & let me know what you think in the comments section.
What irks you the most about your job?
Do you really love what you do?
What would you do for a job in an alternate universe?
Either ways, share your story & lets make it better.
Reach me at Tejaswi Gautam and let me know what you think about this issue. Are you ready for the future of work? See you next week!
I am rethinking my title (lol) and getting down to those boring, long-term goals. Great read.